come home to my arms...

We finally reached our hotel after a long traffic slowed us down. Apparently Manila WAS excited about Justin Bieber.

The bus lurched as the driver hit the brakes. Justin’s eyes flew open at the movement. He cupped his mouth immediately and made a disturbing sound.

“Oh, God.” I whispered, fully thankful my stomach is pretty strong. I went to rub his back and whisper words – any words – just to make him feel even infinitesimally better. He ran his hand on his face, and took a deep breath.

“I’m okay.” He whispered.

Scooter and Kenny suddenly appeared in front of us.

“Everything okay?” Scooter asked, sounding worried.

Before I could even shake my head, Justin has whispered a “yeah.”

“Cool. Leggo.” Kenny said and chuckled.

Justin stood up, not taking his hand off from me. He looked at me, his eyebrows a little up.

“I’ll be coming. Right behind you.” I said, smiling softly.

Justin nodded, un-smiling. He slipped his hand away, and they started to go out the bus, and there were a few paparazzi, but not too many, thankfully.

“Come on.” Scooter gestured with his hands.

I stood up and we both made our way out the bus. The hot temperature almost knocked me over once we hopped out. The paparazzi are taking pictures, but they weren’t trying to ask stupid things and all. They just clicked and clicked and clicked their cameras, seeming nice enough to understand the situation.

A few meters from me, in the middle of the crowd, was Kenny, his arm wrapped tight around Justin. His head was bent down, his hood was covering it, and his arms are tucked on his pockets. It hurt to see him like that.

They entered the elevator and we, Scooter and I, hopped in after them. The clicking of cameras stopped once the doors closed.

I turned around, and Justin’s back was against the wall, his head dangling down, like he was sleeping standing up. I looked at Kenny, and he mouthed “dizzy.”

I slowly nodded as the elevator’s ting sounded. There were no other people here in our level. No camera men, no paparazzi, no fans. Shocking.

We all went inside the door with the number 617 written on top of it. Justin immediately went for the bed. He laid down, his shoes still on, the blankets still tucked under the mattress. I sat down on the end of the mattress, and it was thick enough that it didn’t even move him. I rested my hand on his leg.

“I thought you were hungry.” I whispered.

He just groaned. I stood up, went to the kitchen and made a sandwich. I went back to the bed and kneeled beside it.

“Justin, you should eat.” I said.

Justin opened his eyes, the two bright wonderful things moist and cloudy, and he sat up. His hands were shaking as he took it from me. One bite, and he already made a grimace.

“I’m going to throw up.” He grumbled and reached the sandwich out to return it to me.

I held his wrist. “At least finish that sandwich. Please.”

He sighed, took a bite again, and chewed slowly. I started to take his shoes off.

“I’ll do that later.” Justin instantly said.

I rolled my eyes. As if. He would be fast asleep once I let him, that’s for sure. I took off his shoe, then the other, then his socks. I put it under the bed at once. I watched as Justin slowly ate his sandwich, but on the last bite, he reached out again to return it to me.

“Justin, that’s just one more.” I protested.

“I’m going to throw up.” He grumbled.

“Then I’ll eat that.” I said as I took the sandwich.

“No! There’re viruses there and stuff from me –“ He placed the sandwich out of my grasp.

“Justin, hundreds of people don’t get to eat. You don’t want to waste it.”

He huffed. He took the last bite. Once he swallowed it, he immediately laid down, his head tucked under his arms. I put the blanket over him, and stroked his hair.

“See? That wasn’t so hard.” I whispered. A small smile crept on his lips.

“Goodnight.” I said softly and kissed his forehead.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to listen. This time, his voice didn’t sound so bad… he was actually joking around. He was talking to his fans, and there were no clues of what had just happened. He started to sing… at first singing a lullaby and then ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ and then ‘There Goes My Baby.’, kidding around with the fans. Then he started to sing ‘Baby’, and I think it was the longest five minutes of my life. Soon, without even a goodbye to the audience, he came rushing in. He still looked pale and sweaty, and his knees were buckling. He sat down on the bench immediately, burying his head in his hands. I sat down beside him and rubbed his back, and he groaned.

People around us were on chaos, already packing out and picking trash and their clothes that were scattered around everywhere. Justin and I are the only one still sitting down.

“I feel dizzy.” He groaned again. I rubbed his back more vigorously.

“It’s okay, it’s done now. You can rest now.” I whispered.

Then Scooter stood in front of us. “Justin, you’re not going to the after party anymore, okay?”

Justin nodded and groaned at the same time.

“Come on, let’s go to the bus so you could go to the hotel and rest.” Scooter said.

Justin slowly stood up, but then almost immediately he swayed and threw up again.

“Okay, okay. Sit down for a while.” He said and left, obviously not standing the sight. I took the bottle and gave it to Justin, and he gargled.

Then, without saying anything, he laid down and rested his head on my lap. He curled into a foetus position. I stretched out and took his shoes and socks off, and I slowly lifted his head to take the necklace off. Scooter came and took it from me, and he gave me one hand towel. I wiped Justin’s face and then I put the towel on his sweaty back. Justin’s eyes were tightly closed, but I could see he wasn’t sleeping. His breaths were shallow and fast. I looked around while rubbing his shoulder. Everybody was moving, cleaning up, but every time they past us, they would look at Justin and pat his back. Everyone was worried, but they knew they should give him some space.

Justin was just lying here, but I could see more beads of sweat building up on his face. I took a carton from the ground and used it as a fan to him. As I fanned him, I noticed how exhausted he looked. The clothes he was wearing isn’t suitable for the weather here, no wonder why he was feeling so hot. Then his eyes slowly opened, but he kept it on the ground. He just stared at blank space, blinking once in a while, his eyelids drooping, his eyebrows furrowed. I stroked his hair, watching him intently.

“Justin, let’s go to the bus, you’ll be more comfortable there.” I whispered. Justin blinked timidly, but he sat up. My jeans were wet with sweat.

I stood up and lent him my hand. He took it and stood up. He closed his eyes, trying to regain his balance. Then he opened it and started to walk. We walked through the secret exit, where fans aren’t allowed to go to. The bus was there, and the doors opened for us. We went inside, and Justin shivered a little at the cold of the air conditioning before sitting down on the nearest chair. He rested his head on the window and closed his eyes.

I went through his bag and took a shirt. I went beside him and took his shirt off. Justin looked at me.

I gave him a soft smile as I put the new shirt on him.

“I feel so bad.” He suddenly whispered.

I frowned. “For what?”

“For ruining the concert.”  He said and closed his eyes again.

I sat down beside him. I took his hand. “You didn’t ruin it, baby. You did great.” I smiled.

He shook his head. “My fans are all equal around the world. They pay the same price, they all support me, but I feel like I’m being unfair. This concert… is not as good as the others.”

I shook my head. “Justin, the whole point beliebers go to your concerts is not actually to have fun. They just go to it because they really just wanna see you and hopefully be your One Less Lonely Girl. And you continued the concert. You performed, you tried to interact with them, actually that’s more than enough.”

He opened his eyes and looked at me. “You really think so?”

I smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I know so.”

He sighed and rested his head on my shoulder.

“I’m hungry.” He grumbled.

I kind of chuckled at that. “I wouldn’t be surprised. We’ll eat as soon as we get to the hotel, okay?”

He just nodded. I patted his head and kissed his hair. “You did great tonight. I’m so proud of you.”

3rd and 4th pages. :)

I couldn’t watch. I hid my face on his chest, and he rubbed my back. I could feel his worry and nervousness – his heart was beating so fast and loud.

I clutched at Justin’s shirt, it was wet with sweat, and I could smell his scent from it.

Then after a few minutes, I heard the start of the ending, like Justin was slowing down in playing. I pulled away from Dan’s chest and looked at Justin. Now his face was scrunching up, and his face was a little bit away from the drums, like he couldn’t stand the noise anymore. Then he gave one last loud bang on the drums, and he stood up. He turned around, and he gestured something to someone beside him on the dark, and he started to disappear from the curtain of the center entrance. I gave Dan Justin’s shirt, and I ran towards the center entrance, and when I finally reached it, Justin was already crouching down, his hand clutching his stomach, and he was… throwing up.

“Oh my God.” I whispered, but still stood beside him, rubbing his back. “Paramedics!” I shouted, apparently no one was noticing the situation yet.

One dancer saw us and cupped her mouth, and she starts screaming around for paramedics.

He was throwing up everything he ate for lunch – rice and steak. His right hand was clutching his stomach and the other one supporting his knee. He gasped and was catching his breath. Then his whole body shook and he gave one more burst of puke. I put my arm around his torso and crouched down to look at him.

“Baby, look at me.” I whispered.

Justin kept his eyes on the ground, gasping for air, sweat and tears dripping down from his face. I wiped his face with my hands, and then his whole body shook again, putting puke on my hand.

“Paramedics!” I shouted once more, this time so loud one came rushing in immediately. One blonde girl in her twenties appeared, and she ran towards Justin. She crouched down and cupped Justin’s face.

“How do you feel, Justin?” She asked in a soothing voice.

Justin still kept his eyes on the ground, breathing hard.

“Justin?” The nurse asked once more.

“Go away.” Justin whispered, and it sounded so urgent that the nurse immediately let go of him and made a step back. Justin threw up more puke.

I closed my eyes for one full second, and I wiped my hand on my jeans, and I looked at Justin.

“Justin.” I whispered.

He looked up, and in an instant, he was hugging me. I could feel his hands shaking against my back, and when I put my arms around him, his shirt was cold with sweat – yes, cold sweat.

“He should sit down.” The nurse said. I pulled away from Justin, him refusing, but I gently pushed him away and sat him down the bench I was sitting down earlier. Even with the slight lighting in here, I could still see how pale he was.

“I’ll go get him some water.” I said, and the nurse smiled and nodded. I took a bottle and gave it to the nurse. She kneeled down in front of Justin, and she opened the bottle.

“Justin, could you please gargle this?” She said. Justin took the bottle and did as she asked. He gave it back to her and she put it beside her on the ground. I stood beside Justin, and I put my hand on his shoulder. He rested his head on my arm, closing his eyes.

“I really don’t think he should continue anymore.” The nurse said, standing up, shaking her head.

Justin’s eyes flew open. “No, there’s just one more.”

“What if you throw up onstage? Or possibly pass out?” She asked.

Justin closed his eyes again and just shook his head.

“It’s still up to him to make the decision.” She said to me.

“I’ll finish the concert.” Justin said weakly.

I bit my lips and kneeled in front of him. I cupped his face and he opened his eyes. “I’m not going to stop you.”

Justin nodded.

“But first tell me you’re okay.” I whispered.

Justin closed his eyes, took deep breaths. After the third, he finally opened his eyes. “I’m okay.”

I licked my lips. “Okay.” I let go of his face and stood up. Scooter was behind me and he patted me on the back. I lent my hand and helped Justin up. He stood up and Scooter tapped his back.

“You ready, bro?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Justin tried to smile but it looked like a grimace.

The audience was chanting now. ‘Justin! Justin! Justin!’

“Okay. Dancers!” He shouted. “Coming out, in three, two, one. Go!” He said, and Justin took a step forward and disappeared again from the curtains.

He was currently singing Never Let You Go now with his guitar and Dan accompanying him. I couldn’t peek from the doors and risk the chance the audience would see me, so I just sat down on this bench, my hands curled into fists, trying to resist the urge to just go there on stage, hug him and just let him rest.

I closed my eyes, letting his voice sink in. His voice sounded tired, and he was singing and playing his guitar a little bit too fast. The crowd kept shrieking, but I know they are also having an idea or probably wondering what on Earth is happening to him. He was still doing well, of course. Sick or not, he always sings well. But the breaths he takes in between lines are shallow, and he sounds like he was catching his breath all the time. I rested my elbows on my thighs and buried my face on my hands. I tried to cover my ears, but I could still hear his voice, his shaky breaths, and his unusual faster-than-normal strumming of his guitar.

Finally, he was singing the last few notes, and I remembered from his rehearsals that this was the time he’s going to play the drums, and then he’ll be going to sing the encore ‘Baby.’

I stood up beside the entrance door from the stage to the backstage, biting my nails, getting more and more impatient to holding him into my arms already. I heard Dan’s ending strum of the guitar, and I saw the lights go off behind the dark curtain. Then slowly it opened, and Justin went inside, Dan behind him watching him intently.

His face was shiny with sweat, and his hair was sticking to his forehead. Sweat was flowing down on either sides of his face, and his shirt was wet from the neckline down to the armpits.

I saw him take a shaky, deep breath and looked around. Then he saw me, and I watched as his arms threw around me.

“Hey. Are you okay?” I whispered, rubbing his wet back. His cheek against mine was sticky with sweat, and his shirt was sticking to his skin.

He didn’t say anything, but I could hear the desperation and the pressure and the wanting-to-stop-but-can’t feeling on every breath he takes.

“Can you still continue?” I whispered, biting my lip.

He took a shaky, deep breath again. “What about my fans?” His voice sounded croaky with exhaustion.

I couldn’t say anything about that. I want to stop this pain he’s feeling right now and of course that means I want him to stop the concert, but I also don’t want his fans to be disappointed. Anyways, I’ve been a fan once upon a time too.

Then Dan appeared beside us and held Justin’s back, and I could see the concern on the way he’s frowning.

“Hey, can you still continue? You don’t look so good.” His voice was thick with concern.

“Yeah.”  Justin whispered, his voice hoarse.

“Then you should change your clothes now. You’re going to start drumming.” He said.

I heard the loud swallowing from his throat, and he slowly pulled away from me. He wiped his forehead, sweat dripping down from his hair. His eyelids were heavy, and he was pale. Dan gave him the shirt, but Justin looked too tired to even bend down and try to take his shirt off. I went behind him and rolled his shirt upwards and made its way out of his head, and Dan put the new shirt on him. The drums were set up beside him, and he sat down on the chair behind it. I saw the lights turn on again behind the curtains again, and Justin looked up at me.

“Baby.” He whispered.

I put my hand on his back and kissed the top of his head. Then the thing started to move, and he disappeared from the curtains.

“I know you’re worried. I am too.” Dan said suddenly.

I looked up at him, and his eyes mirrored mine – concern and worry. I rested my head on his chest for a while, until I heard the drums start to bang.

I flinched at the noise, and I can’t imagine how Justin survives being on that loud noise. His drumming was okay – this time I can’t know what he’s feeling, this was the first time I’ve ever heard him play the drums.

I looked up at Dan again. “Is he okay?”

“Let’s go to the side entrance. We can peek there and no one would even notice.” He said. We went towards an entrance on the side, and there were no curtains. There were back-up dancers there watching.

“How’s he?” Dan asked.

One of the dancers turned around at us. He just shook his head and left. We filled his space, and we both peeked out.

Justin was hitting the drums with the stick, and he looked pretty normal, but one look on his face would correct you wrong. He was so pale – his lips lost its pink color. His eyes were barely open, like his eyelids were about to drop, and he looked like he doesn’t even know what he’s doing – like his arms are just moving on its own. Every few seconds his face would scrunch up, like something was hurting him. I bit my nails again, and I felt Dan’s hand on my shoulder, rubbing my arm, trying to calm me down.

this is only the 1st and 2nd pages of the whole story. I’ll post the 3rd-8th pages in just a little while. :)

And we all know (okay, probably not ALL of you) that that was the date Justin came to have a concert here in the Philippines last year. And that was the time that he was sick and they said in the news that he was throwing up backstage the whole time of the concert. And last year, I actually made, like, a Fan Fiction about it, but I didn’t have the guts to post it in here. But, what do you guys think? Should I go post it in here? Like, if you guys want me to go post it, I’ll surely post it on May Ten (of course Philippine Time.) I just wanna know if somebody would be interested about it, because it would be HUGELY embarrassing to post something and nobody would actually read it. It’s quite long, actually. I wrote it on Microsoft Word and it was as long as eight pages. I’ll probably post it per page or something. So, if somebody is interested, please do let me know! :) Thank you!